Why Men Cheat?

The ques­tion “Why men cheat?” is prob­a­b­ly old­er than the ques­tion “What is the pur­pose of life?” Sad­ly ladies the an­sw­er is…drum roll please… THEY JUST DO!

Those of us who are aware that we have been cheat­ed on have gone through ev­ery sce­nario try­ing to fig­ure why it hap­pened. Some­times it’s just ob­vi­ous you were deal­ing with a guy who could care less, and who is go­ing to be with other wo­m­en no mat­ter what. Other times we re­sort to blam­ing our­selves. We start to think that maybe we gained some weight, or maybe we aren’t putt­ing it down in the be­d­room the way we used to.

Re­al­i­ty Check…

It has noth­ing to do with how his cur­rent wo­m­an is act­ing at home. His wo­m­an could have giv­en him the best sex­u­al ex­pe­ri­ence he ev­er had, but a man will still won­der if he can find bet­ter. In fact some men don’t even care if the sex they find out­side of their re­la­tion­ship is bet­ter the main draw is that it’s new. The bot­tom line is men like at­ten­tion. They are taught from a very young age that a big part of what makes them man­ly is their abil­i­ty to at­tract and con­quer as many wo­m­en as pos­si­ble.

As they get old­er and gain a healthy con­fi­dence in their abil­i­ties to get with wo­m­en they en­ter a phase where they start to slow down. In this phase a man will start to pri­or­i­tize and re­al­ize that sex is not ev­ery­thing and he may find a girl­friend. While he is with his girl­friend he will put in some ef­fort to do noth­ing more than to fan­ta­size about other wo­m­en. Un­for­tu­nate­ly, men get to a point where they start to weigh the com­fort they have in their re­la­tion­ships against the “free­dom” they felt when they were play­ing the field. The new wo­m­an, even if she pales in com­pari­son to you will bet­ter at the mo­ment be­cause it’s new at­ten­tion, a new ex­pe­ri­ence, and sad­ly new sex­u­al ter­ri­to­ry aka “pussy”.

Where we get caught in a box is that we give so much at­ten­tion to when a man de­cides to have sex with some­one else. When we do that we leave the door open for our men to do ev­ery­thing else. We tend to for­get that in­fi­del­i­ty has just as many lev­els as love. Wo­m­en love with their hearts first and their minds se­cond. While on the other hand, men love with their minds first, and un­for­tu­nate­ly they have two heads. Be­cause wo­m­en are aware of this they think that a man will rare­ly ev­er step out of his re­la­tion­ship be­cause his heart wants some­one or some­thing else. Though it may be more com­mon for a man to cheat phys­i­cal­ly we for­get about the emo­tio­n­al side.

Phys­i­cal cheat­ing is pret­ty black and white. When he kiss­es, fon­dles, and has sex with some­one else you’ve been phys­i­cal­ly cheat­ed on. Emo­tio­n­al cheat­ing how­ev­er is very grey. When love is a part of your re­la­tion­ship this grey area is very dan­ger­ous be­cause on the rare oc­ca­sion that a man lets you in he is form­ing an at­tach­ment. When a man is emo­tio­n­al­ly cheat­ing on you, he is:

Hav­ing con­ver­sa­tions with this other wo­m­an that he is no longer hav­ing with you be­cause all of a sud­den you don’t un­der­s­tand him any­more.
Flirt­ing to the point where it sur­pass­es harm­less com­pli­ments.
De­fend­ing his “friend­ship” with another girl. He in­sists “It’s not like that”
Spend­ing time do­ing in­no­cent ac­tiv­i­ties with his “friend”
Though emo­tio­n­al and phys­i­cal cheat­ing have their bla­tant dif­fer­ences the one thing they have in com­mon is the new­ness the man re­ceives when he’s gett­ing at­ten­tion from some­one else. This other girl is new sex, a new ear to lis­ten, a new mind to un­der­s­tand. The sil­ver lin­ing so to speak is that most men ei­ther re­al­ize that they are not willing to stay in the re­la­tion­ship they have and move on. Others de­cide they en­joyed tast­ing a new fla­vor but their fa­vorite brand is at home. It’s up to the wo­m­an at this point to de­cide if she will deal with it.