How to Win Friends and Influence People - Summary from 1936

How to Win Friends and In­flu­ence Peo­ple

This is Dale Carnegie's sum­mary of his book, from 1936

Table of Con­tents

Fun­da­men­tal Tech­niques in Han­dling Peo­ple
- Six Ways to Make Peo­ple Like You
- How to Win Peo­ple to Your Way of Think­ing
- Be a Lead­er: How to Change Peo­ple With­out Giv­ing Of­fense or Arous­ing Re­sent­ment

Part One
Fun­da­men­tal Tech­niques in Han­dling Peo­ple

Don't criti­cize, con­demn or com­plain.
Give hon­est and sin­cere ap­pre­ci­a­tion.
Arouse in the other per­son an ea­ger want.

Part Two
Six ways to make peo­ple like you

Be­come genuine­ly in­ter­est­ed in other peo­ple.
Smile.
Re­mem­ber that a per­son's name is to that per­son the sweet­est and most im­por­tant sound in any lan­guage.
Be a good lis­ten­er. En­cour­age others to talk about them­selves.
Talk in terms of the other per­son's in­ter­ests.
Make the other per­son feel im­por­tant - and do it sin­cere­ly.

Part Three
Win peo­ple to your way of think­ing

The on­ly way to get the best of an ar­gu­ment is to avoid it.
Show re­spect for the other per­son's opinions. Nev­er say, "You're wrong."
If you are wrong, ad­mit it quick­ly and em­phat­i­cal­ly.
Be­gin in a friend­ly way.
Get the other per­son say­ing "yes, yes" im­me­di­ate­ly.
Let the other per­son do a great deal of the talk­ing.
Let the other per­son feel that the idea is his or hers.
Try hon­est­ly to see things from the other per­son's point of view.
Be sym­pa­thet­ic with the other per­son's ideas and de­sires.
Ap­peal to the no­bler mo­tives.
Dra­ma­tize your ideas.
Throw down a chal­lenge.
Part Four
Be a Lead­er: How to Change Peo­ple With­out Giv­ing Of­fense or Arous­ing Re­sent­ment

A lead­er's job of­ten in­cludes chang­ing your peo­ple's at­ti­tudes and be­havior. Some sugges­tions to ac­com­plish this:
Be­gin with praise and hon­est ap­pre­ci­a­tion.
Call at­ten­tion to peo­ple's mis­takes in­di­rect­ly.
Talk about your own mis­takes be­fore criti­ciz­ing the other per­son.
Ask ques­tions in­stead of giv­ing di­rect or­ders.
Let the other per­son save face.
Praise the slight­est im­prove­ment and praise ev­ery im­prove­ment. Be "hear­ty in your ap­pro­ba­tion and lav­ish in your praise."
Give the other per­son a fine rep­u­ta­tion to live up to.
Use en­cour­age­ment. Make the fault seem easy to cor­rect.
Make the other per­son hap­py about do­ing the thing you suggest.